g Men Are Jerks: July 2005
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Malaysian boy stuck in Shanghai.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The Best of Duff!

Why is Duff so popular?
Duff has inspired many...

and greatly motivating...

Pretty and talented ...

I mean very talented...

It is therefore not surprising to hear that...

and people screaming...

Thank you for YOUR support all these years.

As a token of appreciation to all my fans out there, we are giving out our very exclusive Duff merchandise FREE!!!

To redeem your FREE Duff merchandise, please send in a self addressed envelope together with your proof of purchase and a processing fee of USD2,000 (by way of bankers' cheque only) to No. 1 Fabulous Avenue, Springfield. Delivery will be made within 14 days of clearance of the bankers' cheque.

posted by Duff! at 8:41 am | 10 Heartache(s)

Monday, July 25, 2005

I Haven't Grown Nuts Either

There are many times when I feel terribly insecure or inadequate... and there are many other times when I wish I could be smarter, better looking, have a nicer body, taller (sharddup you biatches out there), richer, wittier, more charming, etc.. but I know very well that only some of these may materialise, some is unfortunately stuck with me for the rest of MY life.

Wingedman in his last blog talked about his latest infatuation. "I don't have the balls to approach you and probably will never grow any. But I want to so bad." Doesn't that sound all so familiar? I must admit that I am very chicken when it comes to approaching or talking to a guy I like. As far as I can remember, I have only walked up to ONE guy to ask for his number face-to-face, and it took me 20 months before I could finally bring myself to do it. That is also due to the fact that he is not responding to me online. Damn. (Unlike Wingedman, I am not worried about the fact that my dream guy may be more perfect in my mind than in person. The only thing I think about is whether he is a top or bottom. Whoops.)

Guess deep down I am really afraid of rejection. It could be due to past bad experiences. It could be due to some childhood fear. I don't know. I could be just a pure pessimist. I am afraid that I will make a fool of myself. I am afraid that I am just simply not good enough. There are times when you see some real hot guys dancing in a club or just doing some sports or just doing absolutely nothing at all, looking all so confident and fabulous. I often wonder how it feels like to Mr Popular, to be able to walk into a club KNOWING that you can get any guy you want. I often wonder...

Take A for example. I have noticed him for 1 year plus by now. Though it was nothing like my feelings towards M, I do think A is really really cute. There he was on the podium in LQ last saturday, dancing and shaking his butt and having this confident smirk on his face. For a split second I actually felt a lil down because I know that A is beyond my league And I will NEVER be good enough for A And I will never be able to bring myself to go up to him and ask him out.

No one knows how does it feel for people like me growing up...

Years go by, will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my hand
Years go by, will I choke on my tears
'Til finally there is nothing left
One more casualty you know
We're too easy easy easy...

posted by Duff! at 2:02 pm | 5 Heartache(s)

Look At Me! (Borrowed from Jane's Blog)

It has been a while since my last serious (wait, is this supposed to be serious?) entry. Just thought I could warm up with something light before I start ranting again... here is something that I have "borrowed" from Jane's Blog:

Some facts about Maryann:

I'm not a crossdresser! Jane isnt my real name (duh) its the name of my car. Im a 25 year old guy
Maryann is not my real name either. But close enough.

I do not look like your average Malaysian but who does? I can look chinese, malay, thai, arabic & one japanese lady thought I was japanese in Japan. Its all your perception.
I look 100% chinese. Though I am mixed. Hokkien and Teochew.

I indulge in cigs, alcohol (eventho I have allergic reactions) and other stuff even.
I was in AA, and I don't smoke.

I'm experimental & like trying out new things.
Oh yea.

I have a passion for sushi but only the cooked ones.
I love it raw. RAW~~~ oh yea.

I wear glasses~ 175/175
Must I disclose my power here? Can I talk about my d*** size instead?

I believe in God but I don't believe in mindless worship.
I am atheist (tho most of the time I just say I am Buddhist so no one will preach to me). The only time I talk about God (no offence) is when I am doing jewknowwhat (oh my ***, i am c******) and when I lip-sync to 'Like A Prayer' (and no, I don't cross dross. and no, no feather involved).

I always considered myself an "unique beauty" and I'm very attracted by unique beauty as well. But intelligence & communication do matter.
I can do a dumb latino, dumb chinese, blonde blonde, dumb middle eastern, dumb japanese, etc. (not necessarily in that order, one after another or together. either way. I am very obliging). No talking is necessary.

I feel strongly about the environment and thus avoid unnecessary packaging/waste whenever I can.
I still use condoms and plastic bags.

I love my friends ferociously and protect them.
I love WORLD PEACE. *waves

I believe there is always an alternative to any situation. In truth we are free to choose, even when it seems like we are obligated.
I believe that too. Except that it's A LOT HARDER in real life. Otherwise I will still have 2 bottles of Absolut Vanilla.

I like comfortable clothes (torn & worn out stuff). But enjoy dressing up when the moment is right.
I love dressing up, but I love undressing more.

I'm a semi closet case~ I only out myself to people who I think can handle it. No good would come out of announcing my sexual preference to the world.
I am totally closeted, other than in LQ, gaydar, gay.com, fridae and all other gay websites.

I'm currently dating a half punjabi half cindi indian boy one year younger than me.
I'm currently single. Last guy I slept with was a hot latino (of spanish and italian descendent) with awesome abs. Yes, you heard me... awesome abs.

My hair looks best when it is slightly messy & allowed to flop freely.
I like to keep mine short, and I secretly wanted to bleach 'em but I am scared.

I can be an amazing bitch to people who annoy me but extremely attentive to those who do me right.
I can be an amazing bitch to EVERYONE.

My eyes & eyebrows are my sexiest attributes.
My lips. Muack Muack!
*Push Angelina away. Brad is mine.

My favourite genre of music is alternative rock but I listen to alot of other stuff too. Music is important in my life.
I listen to mostly pop and rock. I think Barbra Streisand is the best female artist EVER (although I don't listen to her songs). I also admire female artists with great vocals such as Hilary Duff, Britney Spears, Ashlee and Jessica Simpsons and Lindsay Lohan.

I can be amazingly horny. (like now)
All the time BABY.

Thank you Jane. :-)

posted by Duff! at 8:47 am | 2 Heartache(s)

Monday, July 11, 2005

Bean King

If a person who likes white guys is a PQ, a person who likes Asian is a Rice Queen, then I am officially, a Bean King. Mi chico latino!

posted by Duff! at 7:57 am | 4 Heartache(s)

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Colonisation

One may often wonder why would Michael Jackson want to turn from a black man to a white woman. Apart from the fact that he could be psycho, there is also a great possibility that he has been the victim of racism from his own race?

I still remember when I used to carry like 10 files under the blazing sun, with my blazier and tie on trying to cross the road in front of Dataran Merdeka. It remains a miracle that I survive all those 2Fast2Furious wannabes while attempting to run across the road. There are also times when I see ALL cars stop when a white woman was just waiting by the kerb.

I grow up in KL, and have been to Hong Kong and Singapore. Great cities, also happened to be ex-colony of the Great Britain empire. I grow up with this complex ... I grow up to hate the government policies, to hate the fact that white men (no matter how old, fat and ugly they are) can get laid easily, to hate the fact how I have to suffer from racism from my fellow malaysians just because I am not white enough. English is not my first language, and I am proud that I can read and write Chinese fluently. Did ANYONE ever stop and tell me ... "Oh, your Mandarin is so good!" NO. All I get is some ruthless comments about my grammar mistake, my pronounciation and whatever not. More often than not, I am called an Ah Beng. Since when does it become OK to be a BANANA, and not OK to be an Ah Beng? Why are we subjecting ourselves to racism by our own kind?

I often wonder, what is it that makes the white people get these privileges that we don't. Take JW for example, who has a marketing degree from Monash. I mean, none of my classmate even want to go into "marketing". The entry requirement back then, was so low that almost anyone could get in, but none of us bothered. But none of this really matter now, does it? He is earning like 10 times our pay... for sitting there, not doing anything and fucking our boys. And he is proud of that. The fact is, we Asians... allowed that to happen to us.

YOU can make a difference.

posted by Duff! at 6:33 pm | 5 Heartache(s)

Friday, July 01, 2005

A Malaysian Boy in SG (Part I)

When Carrie leaves NY, she was going to be with a man she loves, and giving up everything she has.
When Maryann leaves KL, she is going to find everything else, and leave all her loved ones behind...

posted by Duff! at 4:30 pm | 5 Heartache(s)