I Haven't Grown Nuts Either
There are many times when I feel terribly insecure or inadequate... and there are many other times when I wish I could be smarter, better looking, have a nicer body, taller (sharddup you biatches out there), richer, wittier, more charming, etc.. but I know very well that only some of these may materialise, some is unfortunately stuck with me for the rest of MY life.
Wingedman in his last blog talked about his latest infatuation. "I don't have the balls to approach you and probably will never grow any. But I want to so bad." Doesn't that sound all so familiar? I must admit that I am very chicken when it comes to approaching or talking to a guy I like. As far as I can remember, I have only walked up to ONE guy to ask for his number face-to-face, and it took me 20 months before I could finally bring myself to do it. That is also due to the fact that he is not responding to me online. Damn. (Unlike Wingedman, I am not worried about the fact that my dream guy may be more perfect in my mind than in person. The only thing I think about is whether he is a top or bottom. Whoops.)
Guess deep down I am really afraid of rejection. It could be due to past bad experiences. It could be due to some childhood fear. I don't know. I could be just a pure pessimist. I am afraid that I will make a fool of myself. I am afraid that I am just simply not good enough. There are times when you see some real hot guys dancing in a club or just doing some sports or just doing absolutely nothing at all, looking all so confident and fabulous. I often wonder how it feels like to Mr Popular, to be able to walk into a club KNOWING that you can get any guy you want. I often wonder...
Take A for example. I have noticed him for 1 year plus by now. Though it was nothing like my feelings towards M, I do think A is really really cute. There he was on the podium in LQ last saturday, dancing and shaking his butt and having this confident smirk on his face. For a split second I actually felt a lil down because I know that A is beyond my league And I will NEVER be good enough for A And I will never be able to bring myself to go up to him and ask him out.
No one knows how does it feel for people like me growing up...
Years go by, will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my hand
Years go by, will I choke on my tears
'Til finally there is nothing left
One more casualty you know
We're too easy easy easy...
posted by Duff! at 2:02 pm
5 Comments:
Er... who the heck is "A"?
Aiya... for pete sake... just enjoy the last few months of KL shags.
3:53 pm
A stands for ARSON! lol (i see them eyes rolling)
Honestly babe, all of us are insecure lil girls that rarely admit we are scared of the big bad world. we are all desprate house wives... (i see the double roll eyes)
10:18 am
When we really like someone, we'd find courage anywhere it can be found..
Carpe diem. Sieze the moment. Life is too short to just sit and wait..
10:42 am
I've been here..Silent all these years..
10:45 am
:) Coming from a stranger who has probably never met you before, I certainly heard about you a lot, good things too. So I doubt you're as down as you put yourself.
9:11 am
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