Men Are Jerks: November 2005

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Duff Says #2

You can be cocky... but you got to be HOT before others will put up with you.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Duff Says #1

It is important to be confident. But it is more important to know where you stand.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Prawn Buffet

Friday. It seemed like it's going to be another boring day... work, gym (well, today I did BodyPump. oh wow... ) and protein shake. Instead of agreeing to go to Zouk for some Tiger Beer launch with PIB and West Brom (yes, West Brom is still higher in the league table than Sunderland and I am bitter), I resort to go home and watch re-runs of Da Jaeng Geum (no, not Quik! Quik! is just a wannabe... *show shocked face).

Minger Kam Ying trying to kao Tn Min and Pn Han was then very upset with Jaeng Geum for her boo-boo attempt in boiling oxtail soup. Poor Jaeung Geum was crying and begging for Pn Han to forgive her when my phone rang. JW, one of my very few fren in SG, asked me to join him in Zouk. Yicks. No Zouk. But JW is going to Happy later and I could join him there. I struggled a lil... but I thought... oh well, why not.

We actually had a drink in MOX first... briefly. My eyes hurt. I have got some sort of allergic reaction. It got slightly better in Happy later ... due to the dim light I think. Music is ... surprisingly good. And then there is Mr Happy final. It's funny how I have never got to see Mr Liquid final but... oh well. 10 finalists, 48 packs. Strangely, I noted the following:

1. 2 of the finalists don't have any packs. In fact, one is quite fat, one is too thin ... they are probably not Singaporeans.
2. I finally see packs that are attached to a human head. And now I know why they don't show their heads. Halloween is just over ok! Dun scare me.
3. The organiser make the finalists come out in their underwears but to put on a pair of jeans. There must be some laws in SG that prohibits striptease...
4. Only 2 of the finalists are confirmed bottom, or rather, let's just say, they love to shake their asses... A LOT. In the public. Facing the public.
5. Votes are collected via sms. Sms Happy to 77330. I may be shua ku, but that seems pretty advance for me. Wonder what do they put in their application form to Singtel.
6. The winner, i.e. Mr Happy, gets S$500. What? $500? G-sus. Even The Star Crossword Puzzles pay more than that.

Anyway, I couldn't help but to laugh to the comments made by these 2 GWMs to me.

GWM1: "Oh man, it is amazing how ugly these boys can be." Well, honey, face the cruel cruel world. To be fair, no. 18 is cute. :)

GWM2: "They are all prawns. Eat the body, throw away the head." *Nod

GWM2: "How come I don't see you in the contest". Honey, do I look like a prawn to you?

GWM2: "You got to enter next year. I would vote for you." Oh honey, that is sweet. Too bad I can't say the same to you.

NB: The views and opinions of these GWM do not represent the stand of this blog, or Duff!

The Mr Happy title went to a guy with a real cheeky smile (with landslide victory apparently). Not too bad... really really hot body. Do this guy eat? He is so damn lean. Oh well... Never mind... And then I hear... "de-de-de, de-de-de" (ok, it sounds silly to type it out like this... but it sounded great in the 70s, it still sounds great now) ... It is probably the highlight of the night... and I HAVE to imitate John "So-70s" Travolta's moves to Esther's music (I am probably the only one)...

Every little thing that you say or do

I'm hung up

I'm hung up on you

Waiting for your call

Baby night and day

I'm fed up

I'm tired of waiting on you

Duff! feat. Esther

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Longest Ride

It has been a while since I last saw PIB, a guy whom I dated for a while last year. The thing is, we were never really together. We never even had sex. Ok, does that mean we have not even dated? Confused.... never mind... Apparently PIB is now seeing this super hot cute buffed tanned Singaporean boy ... well, at least according to Quik! and Wingedman. Honestly I have never trusted Quik! (all except one!) or Wingedman's taste. Or rather, put nicely, we have very different taste in man, at least.

I got a call today from PIB. He is in town and he wanted to meet up. I panicked for a while... no joke. I have got a huge zit today, dark circles and I am simply not prepared. In this competition to see who dies more miserably, I cannot allow him and his fabulous bf to see me in this terrible condition.

It feels like Sunderland travelling down to play with Chelsea. During my entire 7 minutes train ride from Raffles Place to Somerset, I have got so many strange ideas and images of this guy. Let's see. Goodlooking, cute, well built, tanned and straight acting. Sounds like a real good catch. The 7 minutes felt forever. I begin to wallow in self pity. I begin to think of my own life, and all my failed relationships, and how good they must have looked together. I even felt like making up some excuses and go home instead... at least I can play with my white Mediterranean housemate.

When I finally got to Somerset... my mind just went blank. Will I feel more miserable when I know that no everyone is as miserable as me? I dunno... but then I think whoever that is up there is trying to tell me something. The situation is always much better than we would have imagined it to be. Then I found out the opposing team is actually West Brom. Yawn.

NB: The guy actually turns out quite nice. But nice does not = fabulous.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Sliding Doors

It was just like any other day... I got to clean up shit, and get ready and rush to work. I left my house slightly earlier today cos I have got to attend a meeting and I have not done much preparation for it.

I board the same deck everyday i think. And it must be the same old train everyday, or every damn train that goes thru East West line has the same adverstisements. Aberdeen keeps asking me if I would like to retire... happily (with a double headed tongkat... wonder what can one do with that), and NTUC ask if I want a free MP3 playa or some shit like that (that actually look like a mini washing machine). There is really nothing much to do in the train other than to look at other people's paper while listening to my iPod.

Or so I thought. And then I saw the cute guy that tried to cruise me in MRT the other day. It has been almost ... a month since that happened? And sadly he remains the only guy that I feel like shagging during my entire time in Singapore. I saw him running towards me (the train) as the doors closed upon him. It was such a shame... really. We could have got married and live happily together ever after and have many many wonderful children together. Or at least have sex. Damn... As the train moved away from Bugis, I couldn't help but to realise he looks so much better in my memory... but that's not the point of this post.

What happened today reminds me a lot of a movie I saw many many years ago... starring Gwyneth Paltrow (a REALLY lucky woman who has bed-ed Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck and Chris Martin... I want to grow up to be just like her! Damn!). A lame story about how her life was changed just because she missed a train (but it's ok, that time she was still doing Brad Pitt). What could have happened had he boarded this train. Will he try to hit on me again? Will I be too chicken (not AJ, real chicken) to even look back at him? I mean... really. Our lives really could have changed. Or at least I could finally get laid in Singapore. Damn those sliding doors.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

My Honey and My Sayang's honey (Part I)

It is about 1 1/2 years ago... I got a note that "comes together wif an offer of friendship" on Fridae. Honestly I felt it was a bit lame when I read it. He also said he thought my profile was "interesting" and "cool". (note: my profile was actually written by my Oracle. but it's about ME ME ME ME ME) At least this guy who has a chubby pic of himself reaching out for a Liverpool signboard is somewhat different... I guess. What? No photoshopped pecs and abs? G-sus cries!

Oh well, my best attribute is my personality. I shall be nice and reply to him. And that's what I did. It was however, not until 3-4 months later when we first meet up... at a pot luck party at my place (where he won a lucky draw, first prize... a gloomy bear). Throughout the 3-4 months of chatting on msn, I found out that this slightly chubby Liverpool fan is crazy about music too... and only the coolest music, among his favourites? Whatchulookinat by auntie Whitney, American Life by Maddy and Glitter! by Mimi. A chubby gay Liverpool fan who likes alternatives? G-sus cries!

I am not sure what actually happened but I think that minger was somewhat accepted in my group / usual hang outs. And then that Wingedman that biatch has to come in and steal MY friend (note: he even posted a tribute before me! stop stealing my frens!)