I wish...
Today, I have been asked what do I wish for this year. As far as I can remember, none of my birthday wishes actually came true except one year when I finally got M into bed. Frankly I do not really believe that a simple wish on one's birthday will really come true... But it got me thinking... what do I really really wish for. Do I wish for that pay raise that I have been whining about? Or do I want that ripped body more? Maybe a winning lottery will be nice.
And then I realise... All those things that I have been whining about doesn't seem to matter that much after all. I could work hard for it if I wanted it bad enough. I could be rich and gorgeous if I work hard for it. I know I can. There is one thing however, that I really really wish for:
I wish my parents will have good health and happiness for many years to come.
It may seems like a simple wish... but for a son that is going to leave home to work, not knowing when he will return, not knowing how his aging parents is coping, not knowing if they have taken their medication, not knowing if their aching backs is worsening or not, not being able to be there for them in case of emergency... this is what I really hope for.
I know I will probably not be able to repay their kindness, ever, in my entire life. I know I am not the perfect son, I have too many flaws. I have tried to make them proud, but I know I have disappointed them in many ways. I love my parents more than anyone else in this world, more than anyone that I will ever love. But I know no one loves me unconditionally and no one will love me and accept me the way they do. Someone that suffers more than me when I was sick, someone who will not go for holidays without me, someone who ensures that I have enough to eat all the time, have pretty clothes to wear and enough to spend. I may be getting a lil emotional here, but same time next month I will be away from home. To an unknown land, to start a new life and starting a new chapter of my life ... without THEM.
I will miss massaging my dad's shoulders whilst he is watching tv. I will miss bringing them out for nice dinners during their birthdays and father's/ mother's day or for no reasons at all. I will miss my mum's version of the entire synopsis for the entire drama series. I will miss the Sunday dim sum. I will also miss all the dramas at home, all the over-greasy food, the curfew and the nagging. I will miss the family dinners that my mum will cook too much and all of us have to stuff ourselves silly. I will miss them for just being there... yes, just being there. Yes, I will miss all these. Every single bit of these.
There is this poem (together with my attempt to translate it) that I wish to share, who those who have read this far:
慈母手中线，
the thread in the mother's hand
the thread in the mother's hand
游子身上衣。
the clothes on the son that is about to leave home
the clothes on the son that is about to leave home
临时密密缝，
sewing meticulously at very last moment before the departure
sewing meticulously at very last moment before the departure
意恐迟迟归。
worrying that the son will not be able to return for a long period of time
谁言寸草心，
the love of the son is like small lil grass
worrying that the son will not be able to return for a long period of time
谁言寸草心，
the love of the son is like small lil grass
报得三春晖。
unable to repay the love of Mum which is like the ever shining sun
unable to repay the love of Mum which is like the ever shining sun
posted by Duff! at 8:58 am
8 Comments:
Sniff sniff *wipes tear from eye*
Dun worry sayang, my advise is just call more often and send back fabulous stuff from time to time if you can't make it back. I'm sure they will appriciate that alot.
(my wittle MD has grown up so much since i first knew him...)
11:08 am
oh maryann...that's a great heart-warming single...
*buys a few copies*
4:35 pm
You know what? Usually these things are really corny but yours wasn't at all.
This post is so you. I wish your parents could read this.
I think before you go, you should at least convey a little bit about how you're feeling to them.
But of course you know what they will say...they're as good parents as you are a good son.
10:40 pm
Gee...if only I have more time to spend with my parents before I left. I miss them a lot. I called back more often now than I did when I was in KL.
You'll be fine honey, I'm sure you'll get used to the new life at the new place. You'll be so busy with work (and boys) till you don't even have time to be homesick.
"As far as I can remember, none of my birthday wishes actually came true except one year when I finally got M into bed."
Hey...I thought M should be me???*giggles*
All the best for the new chapter in life.
1:54 am
This has to be the most touching update I've seen on your blog. Duffie, you sexy, sentimental man you...
Call more often as Androjane says. And you could always hook your parents up to the Net before you leave so you'd be able to send mails and stuff. The world is really getting smaller so keep in touch.
And of course, give them a great big hug and tell them how you feel.
Paul
9:47 am
been there la. When we are at the lowest point, the first ppl we think of are our parents.
Even when we can't tell them what's bothering us, being near them makes us feel safe and comforted.
The sad truth is, when things looks bright again, we tend to move on and leave them behind.
Just don't leave them to far behind, i guess.
4:35 pm
Thank you everyone. Love your parents. :)
11:39 am
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9:52 am
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