Men Are Jerks

OMG?

2008-07-13T01:18:00.003+07:00

When did China allow access to Blogspot?

Praise Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu!

2007-06-07T12:54:00.000+07:00

This is no doubt the best-est poem I have ever read in my life.

From this day forward
You shall not walk alone.
Her heart will be your shelter,
And her arms will be your home.
A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make
the mountain less, but more;
and the valley is more a valley because
it has a mountain towering over it

All credits must go to our honourable Works Minister Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu.

Nobody knows where they might end up

2007-02-26T20:21:00.000+07:00

Nobody knows...

Down down down

2007-02-24T20:52:00.000+07:00

After a long CNY break... guess no one really wants to go back to work... certainly not me. In fact, I don't even want to be in Shanghai. Or anywhere. I am sick and tired of everything in life. Everything. What does world go on the way it does? Does it even serve any purpose?

I have a job that pays me well. Fat bonus. But i am not happy. I hate my job. I hate my boss. I hate my subordinates. I hate my clients. I hate the way things are. I hate the fact that my Chinese is not as good as the local Chinese and my English isn't perfect. I hate to be criticised all the time. I hate having to try so hard all the time. I hate having to work late all the time. I hate having to work through weekends. I hate people who will scream at me for one missing comma. I hate unreasonable deadlines.

So what if some guys want to bed me. They don't even know me. They probably don't even want to know me. I hate my body. I am short and I am fat. I can never lose the fats around my waist and I will never have 6 packs. I hate my nose. I hate my cravings for fried food. I hate being emotional all the time. I hate the fact that I am waiting for Mr. Perfect to sweep me off my feet. I hate when I wanted someone so badly and I was just being played. I hate mind games. I think I really wanted some attention from O. But he is just not that into me. Do I really like him that much? I don't even know. And then I go around seeking attention. I hate to be needy all the time. I hate to need constant attention and affirmation.

I hate having to talk about myself all the time. I hate to be emotional all the time. I hate to be crazy all the time. I hate to have to hide my craziness from people all the time.

I hate not being loved.

I hate being alone.

I am not even happy...

World of My Own

2007-02-15T11:04:00.000+07:00

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Singapore Bound

2006-10-22T21:11:00.000+07:00

A lot of things were on my mind over the last few months and several options have cropped up in the last few days itself, and all my plans were thrown out of the window.

A simple decision, and hellalot of consequences. Choices were never easy and in situation like this, we could really use some goaty advice. The all-so-wise goat is always the undisputed smartest and most decisive among the all of us. There is no better way to decide this than to ask the all-so-wise goat to point his hoof to the right path... OR ...

Anyway, to cut the long story short. Duff has decided that it is in his best interest to choose "40"... and for you girls out there... you can expect a lot more of Duff back in KL as Duff will be relocating back to Singapore!

Here is a sneak preview of Duff at work...

Tuan Min is hot

2006-10-21T21:23:00.000+07:00

I can't believe this is actually Tuan Min! *show shocked face.

Are abs like for sale in Korea too?

Another crossroads

2006-10-19T18:38:00.000+07:00

My sis once said that most people are lost before they hit 30. Well I am not sure I will be wiser when I do... but I am certainly unsure of what I want to do right now!

I need some guidance...

80? 60? or 40?

Count Your Blessings

2006-10-12T22:19:00.000+07:00

As usual, it was a rather emotional moment for me when my parents send me off to Sentral. As usual, I will regret not spending more time with them when I am back in KL. As usual, I will watch my dad's car speed off until it is out of sight. As usual, the sight of my mum turning around trying to catch the last glimpse of me makes me wanna cry.

But this post is not dedicated to them, or me (it's always about ME anyway). I wanna dedicate a post to some other people that are important to me.

You may be busy dancing to yourself like a mad man (you yourself said so).
You may be so vain that you will even go for cosmetic surgery,.
You may be busy groping your "super tall, fair and ultra sweet" bf all the time, wherever you go.
You two may be so minging / cute and live like 10,000 miles away.
You may be too obsessed with your "chicken-pox" and your Mr. Big.

But I know I can count on YOU when I needed a friendly face around. YOU are always kind to me and YOU are willing to put up with my shortcomings. Thank you for being YOU. *group hug. *shed tears *diva hand moves.

For all of YOU out there (you know who you are). KL is fabulous because of YOU.

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Coz they're all wrong
I know better
Coz you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
oh no no no

I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'Fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
But they knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who Knew

Yeah yeah

I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

Duff! feat. P!nk

I Feel Pretty When I Grunt

2006-09-17T13:30:00.000+07:00

During my last trip back to KL, se7en biatches told me to my face that I am FAT* (NOTE: my "sisters" were more tactful and WJ likes chubs so he won't be complaining. Otherwise there will be MORE!). UPSET.

So for the last 1 month + I have been exercising a lot, eat f***ing healthily, refrain from alcohol (save for that stupid beer that my client forced me to drink) and applying the Abs Rescue (given to me by Wingedman(TM)) religiously. Results? I dunno... I guess I will know in 2 weeks' time when I am back in KL to meet the biatches again. Honestly... I am anxious to know how I have progessed... *grunts...

Cold Cold Harbin

2006-09-09T21:27:00.000+07:00

This is my second time in Harbin and on both occassions, I have to work through the weekend and report to work again on Monday... thanks to some stupid client that I have and my stupid boss who simply can't say no. Totally unglam. As I was struggling to meet impossible deadlines and having to learn everything about doing business in China from scratch... I couldn't help but to wonder... "What am I trying to achieve / prove?"

Apart from the money bit, can I actually be contented to do some brainless job, work strictly 9 to 5 (5 days week), no deadline, no back-logs, no screaming, 24 days MC a year with absolutely no career advancement. Will I be happier? Honestly, I don't know. These days I don't know what do I really want to do apart from buying designer goods. The big 3-0 is setting in soon and I felt that I have not done many things. Things that I want to do, and things that I think I should try at least once in my life.

Maybe I should just take 1 year off and go onto to some soul searching before I turn 30.

Duff. Lost.

Bliss

2006-08-12T10:16:00.000+07:00

I miss everything and everyone that is here (well, almost...).

It is good to be back.

I wouldn't wanna be
Anywhere else but here
I wouldn't wanna change
Anything at all
Duff! feat. All Saints

Duffie From The Block

2006-03-20T17:20:00.000+07:00

While Wingedman (a.k.a the blog whore / queen) is still raving about depositing his booking fee and a goat is still undecided OR fickle OR will move abroad OR will buy somewhere in Bangsar OR will buy somewhere in Bangi OR will withdraw money from his trust fund OR will continue to be a goat... I am finally taking da big step in my life...

It... is... complete... and so am I.

Love Is A Force Of Nature... So Is Animal Sex...

2006-02-01T23:07:00.000+07:00

Feeling Singapore

2005-12-17T01:45:00.000+07:00

2.30 a.m.

My days in Singapore are numbered. Part of me is sad, and part of me is excited. I guess strangely I will kinda miss this place when I eventually leave.

Have been working till really late (and I mean REALLY late) for the past few days. Damn tired...

Just had the most fabulous pork cubes (yes, fried pork meat and LARD) and tons of beer with my colleagues. FABULOUS. My colleagues are great. I really adore them.

Just did a google on the name of my quite-cut-colleague-whom-I-suspect-was-hitting-on-me ... there is only one match. He wrote an article about same sex marriages. Interesting.

My cutest boss is uncut. Took a peep at the urinals today.

I miss KL. Feel like giving AJ a hug. Things will be just fine honey. Men are jerks. Yes. They are.

Somehow driven to visit one website created by an old fren who just broke up with his long term bf. Pictures of new bf (or at least the same name that I was given) are there. I will bang my head against the wall if my ex do that to me. Or bang his. Either way will numb the pain.

I am fat. But at least Donna is fabulous. So I am fat in style.

I need to buy winter clothings. I love winter.

I love my neighbours...

2005-12-11T10:08:00.000+07:00

I am sure my neighbour wouldn't mind sharing some of his bandwidth with me.... would he?

Duff Says #2

2005-11-19T07:44:00.000+07:00

You can be cocky... but you got to be HOT before others will put up with you.

Duff Says #1

2005-11-17T20:56:00.000+07:00

It is important to be confident. But it is more important to know where you stand.

Prawn Buffet

2005-11-12T09:10:00.000+07:00

Friday. It seemed like it's going to be another boring day... work, gym (well, today I did BodyPump. oh wow... ) and protein shake. Instead of agreeing to go to Zouk for some Tiger Beer launch with PIB and West Brom (yes, West Brom is still higher in the league table than Sunderland and I am bitter), I resort to go home and watch re-runs of Da Jaeng Geum (no, not Quik! Quik! is just a wannabe... *show shocked face).

Minger Kam Ying trying to kao Tn Min and Pn Han was then very upset with Jaeng Geum for her boo-boo attempt in boiling oxtail soup. Poor Jaeung Geum was crying and begging for Pn Han to forgive her when my phone rang. JW, one of my very few fren in SG, asked me to join him in Zouk. Yicks. No Zouk. But JW is going to Happy later and I could join him there. I struggled a lil... but I thought... oh well, why not.

We actually had a drink in MOX first... briefly. My eyes hurt. I have got some sort of allergic reaction. It got slightly better in Happy later ... due to the dim light I think. Music is ... surprisingly good. And then there is Mr Happy final. It's funny how I have never got to see Mr Liquid final but... oh well. 10 finalists, 48 packs. Strangely, I noted the following:

1. 2 of the finalists don't have any packs. In fact, one is quite fat, one is too thin ... they are probably not Singaporeans.
2. I finally see packs that are attached to a human head. And now I know why they don't show their heads. Halloween is just over ok! Dun scare me.
3. The organiser make the finalists come out in their underwears but to put on a pair of jeans. There must be some laws in SG that prohibits striptease...
4. Only 2 of the finalists are confirmed bottom, or rather, let's just say, they love to shake their asses... A LOT. In the public. Facing the public.
5. Votes are collected via sms. Sms Happy to 77330. I may be shua ku, but that seems pretty advance for me. Wonder what do they put in their application form to Singtel.
6. The winner, i.e. Mr Happy, gets S$500. What? $500? G-sus. Even The Star Crossword Puzzles pay more than that.

Anyway, I couldn't help but to laugh to the comments made by these 2 GWMs to me.

GWM1: "Oh man, it is amazing how ugly these boys can be." Well, honey, face the cruel cruel world. To be fair, no. 18 is cute. :)

GWM2: "They are all prawns. Eat the body, throw away the head." *Nod

GWM2: "How come I don't see you in the contest". Honey, do I look like a prawn to you?

GWM2: "You got to enter next year. I would vote for you." Oh honey, that is sweet. Too bad I can't say the same to you.

NB: The views and opinions of these GWM do not represent the stand of this blog, or Duff!

The Mr Happy title went to a guy with a real cheeky smile (with landslide victory apparently). Not too bad... really really hot body. Do this guy eat? He is so damn lean. Oh well... Never mind... And then I hear... "de-de-de, de-de-de" (ok, it sounds silly to type it out like this... but it sounded great in the 70s, it still sounds great now) ... It is probably the highlight of the night... and I HAVE to imitate John "So-70s" Travolta's moves to Esther's music (I am probably the only one)...

Every little thing that you say or do

I'm hung up

I'm hung up on you

Waiting for your call

Baby night and day

I'm fed up

I'm tired of waiting on you

Duff! feat. Esther

The Longest Ride

2005-11-10T23:05:00.000+07:00

It has been a while since I last saw PIB, a guy whom I dated for a while last year. The thing is, we were never really together. We never even had sex. Ok, does that mean we have not even dated? Confused.... never mind... Apparently PIB is now seeing this super hot cute buffed tanned Singaporean boy ... well, at least according to Quik! and Wingedman. Honestly I have never trusted Quik! (all except one!) or Wingedman's taste. Or rather, put nicely, we have very different taste in man, at least.

I got a call today from PIB. He is in town and he wanted to meet up. I panicked for a while... no joke. I have got a huge zit today, dark circles and I am simply not prepared. In this competition to see who dies more miserably, I cannot allow him and his fabulous bf to see me in this terrible condition.

It feels like Sunderland travelling down to play with Chelsea. During my entire 7 minutes train ride from Raffles Place to Somerset, I have got so many strange ideas and images of this guy. Let's see. Goodlooking, cute, well built, tanned and straight acting. Sounds like a real good catch. The 7 minutes felt forever. I begin to wallow in self pity. I begin to think of my own life, and all my failed relationships, and how good they must have looked together. I even felt like making up some excuses and go home instead... at least I can play with my white Mediterranean housemate.

When I finally got to Somerset... my mind just went blank. Will I feel more miserable when I know that no everyone is as miserable as me? I dunno... but then I think whoever that is up there is trying to tell me something. The situation is always much better than we would have imagined it to be. Then I found out the opposing team is actually West Brom. Yawn.

NB: The guy actually turns out quite nice. But nice does not = fabulous.

Sliding Doors

2005-11-07T23:00:00.000+07:00

It was just like any other day... I got to clean up shit, and get ready and rush to work. I left my house slightly earlier today cos I have got to attend a meeting and I have not done much preparation for it.

I board the same deck everyday i think. And it must be the same old train everyday, or every damn train that goes thru East West line has the same adverstisements. Aberdeen keeps asking me if I would like to retire... happily (with a double headed tongkat... wonder what can one do with that), and NTUC ask if I want a free MP3 playa or some shit like that (that actually look like a mini washing machine). There is really nothing much to do in the train other than to look at other people's paper while listening to my iPod.

Or so I thought. And then I saw the cute guy that tried to cruise me in MRT the other day. It has been almost ... a month since that happened? And sadly he remains the only guy that I feel like shagging during my entire time in Singapore. I saw him running towards me (the train) as the doors closed upon him. It was such a shame... really. We could have got married and live happily together ever after and have many many wonderful children together. Or at least have sex. Damn... As the train moved away from Bugis, I couldn't help but to realise he looks so much better in my memory... but that's not the point of this post.

What happened today reminds me a lot of a movie I saw many many years ago... starring Gwyneth Paltrow (a REALLY lucky woman who has bed-ed Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck and Chris Martin... I want to grow up to be just like her! Damn!). A lame story about how her life was changed just because she missed a train (but it's ok, that time she was still doing Brad Pitt). What could have happened had he boarded this train. Will he try to hit on me again? Will I be too chicken (not AJ, real chicken) to even look back at him? I mean... really. Our lives really could have changed. Or at least I could finally get laid in Singapore. Damn those sliding doors.

My Honey and My Sayang's honey (Part I)

2005-11-06T09:38:00.000+07:00

It is about 1 1/2 years ago... I got a note that "comes together wif an offer of friendship" on Fridae. Honestly I felt it was a bit lame when I read it. He also said he thought my profile was "interesting" and "cool". (note: my profile was actually written by my Oracle. but it's about ME ME ME ME ME) At least this guy who has a chubby pic of himself reaching out for a Liverpool signboard is somewhat different... I guess. What? No photoshopped pecs and abs? G-sus cries!

Oh well, my best attribute is my personality. I shall be nice and reply to him. And that's what I did. It was however, not until 3-4 months later when we first meet up... at a pot luck party at my place (where he won a lucky draw, first prize... a gloomy bear). Throughout the 3-4 months of chatting on msn, I found out that this slightly chubby Liverpool fan is crazy about music too... and only the coolest music, among his favourites? Whatchulookinat by auntie Whitney, American Life by Maddy and Glitter! by Mimi. A chubby gay Liverpool fan who likes alternatives? G-sus cries!

I am not sure what actually happened but I think that minger was somewhat accepted in my group / usual hang outs. And then that Wingedman that biatch has to come in and steal MY friend (note: he even posted a tribute before me! stop stealing my frens!)

6 Days to Shalloween

2005-10-24T21:16:00.000+07:00

30th of October is International Shalloween Day!

It's a day before Halloween... and it's definitely more fun. As its name indicates, it's a day to celebrate life and shallowness. Rumour has it that it reads Shallow Win many moons ago... well anyway... It's a day when we will admit that we are shallow... and we will show it. We will acknowledge that it's OK to be shallow, and we will not pretend that we are not. Everyone is encouraged to come out from their "closet" and be proud to be shallow.

It's a day when no one will pretend that looks don't matter. It's a day when no one should pretend that they go for inner beauty. Yes, we look at your face, we want to know if u have huge biceps and washboard abs (and we do not accept any thing less than 6 packs), we want to know how much you earn, what you work as and who do you know, what car you drive, and what is your address. No, we don't care about your personality. We want to know how much you will spend on us too. yes.

Typically, people all around the world, gay or straight, men or women, practice it all year round, but no one admits that he /she practices it. As most people (we call them hypocrites) will condemn shallowness. So on the International Shalloween Day, we will go around ... from door to door saying, "Trick and treat!" Basically, we will trick you, you will still have to treat us. Of course not just candy... lavish gifts and fancy dinner. That's more like it.

Now let's count down to that meaningful day... when no one needs to pretend that they are not shallow.

Happy?

2005-10-23T08:25:00.000+07:00

A guy who is in between fren / acquaintance was down in SG yesterday, and I was hoping to go out so I didn't mind to hang out with him... and i called him at 11 p.m. to make plan to meet him. The plan was to drink in his hotel room a lil before we hit the club. When I arrive there were already a few of them there, sipping their champagne and chit chatting. As all the guys were drinking happily, sharing private jokes, exchanging fashion tips and moving slowly together with the tempo of the dance music in the room, I was trying to be interested or at least sound interested in the topic of conversation... but the thing is, I don't. Champagne makes me blush, makes me smile, but it cannot make me happy.

Later in the club I met this pretty cool girl (real girl). We chatted a bit and were dancing together... drinking drinks after drinks, dancing to some unknown music. I am sure I needed some anaesthetic, but I am not sure whether it's to make me forget all the elbowing that I got the whole night, or the loneliness. In such a big club with hundreds of gay men with throbbing music, I have never felt more alone. Getting drunk is the best way of enjoying myself. You don't have to talk to anyone, or mind all the elbowing. The world is spinning, and so was I. I couldn't figure out what music was playing anymore, or who was beside me. It has all became better... or so my intoxicated mind thought.

I do not know what time was it but the club was getting empty. All the guys are apparently leaving to another club, which is supposedly more "happening" after 3. The gang is moving and I didn't mind cos the alcohol effect was still strong. There I was greeted by another acquiantance and hundreds of other half naked men. The truth is, I never liked this club. But where else could I go alone at this hour? It was before long this acquiantance come over while I was just following the beat and moving my body. All of a sudden he just squeezed my shoulders really really hard. So hard that it hurts. So hard that I could barely stand up straight. Instinctively, I took one of his hand to squeeze it real hard too. Maybe he will realise that it actually hurts to be squeeze real hard. I guess he realised that, and so he bit me on my back to "make me let go". Even now I didn't know if I bleed or get blue black ... but it didn't matter. He just turned to me and yelled (from what I can recalled) "What the f*** are you doing? I was trying to wake you up! What the f*** are you doing? I was just trying to wake you up! Did you know that you hurt me? What the f*** was that for? What the f*** did you think you were doing? I was just trying to wake you up? I don't want to talk to you and NEVER NEVER call me again. What the f***!?" He gave a glare (much similar to mine) and left. (For the record, I never call him since I arrive in SG, other than last night to try to find out where the other guys were. And I wasn't planning to.)

I was stunt for a while... I was thinking my intoxicated mind must have failed me. What did I miss? And then he returns, and gave me a glare (that looks like I killed his parents) and walked pass me. I suddenly felt really sick. More sick than ever. I felt humiliated tho I doubt many people will hear it thanks to the loud music... and the alcohol really numbs it. I didn't want to stay any moment longer than necessary and I didn't want to fight back, or say anything, to anyone either. It didn't matter. This is their place. These are their sisters.

There is a Chinese saying... A tiger that is in trouble will even be bullied by a dog. Indeed.

Lonely Boat Quay

2005-10-21T22:13:00.000+07:00

Today marked the second day of my staying ALONE in Singapore. While I knew all along that this day will come, it is nevertheless pretty depressing. I think I must have settled in pretty well here. 7.30 a.m. wake up. breakfast. 8.00 a.m. leave my house. 8.40 a.m. reach office. 1.00 p.m. lunch. 2.00 p.m. work again. 8 p.m. leave office. go to gym. 10.00 p.m. go home. 10.30 p.m. reach home. clean up some shit (literally!) and sleep. What is missing is... there won't be anyone home waiting for me, offering me a lift home from time to time, bring me to fancy restaurants and making sure that I have everything I need / want. The house just seems extra quiet (well, it is quiet anyway)... and I have never felt more alone before.

Two days in a row I purposely walk along a small stretch of Boat Quay before I hop on to my train to go home. From far I can see a long stretch of bars and pubs by the river side. Happy Hour. Happy people. There is a distinctive smell at Boat Quay... probably a mixture of the smell of salt water (or is it garbage?) and beer. I dunno. I even saw a Indon worker berpancaran with Santa by the river side as I was going home alone to the empty house. It's not Christmas yet... but who knows... they are probably happier.

Small doses of Singapore

2005-10-12T21:44:00.000+07:00

Today marks the end of my first fortnight as a resident of Singapore... work is tough, especially when I have to prove myself all over again in a new environment, getting to work takes longer than usual, and having to battle through 10,000 people to get into the train to get to work everyday doesn't help either... but there some little things reminds me life ain't that tough, and that happiness does come in small doses:

1. Free flow of espresso at work
2. Killiney's kaya toast and teh si
3. Carrot cake (char kuey kak) and oyster omelette
4. Seafood platter + Seafood bisque @ Mezza9
5. FF pool with a view
6. Shiro's grilled salmon
7. Chicken masala wrap @ Toast
8. Fabulous gay accessories @ New Urban Male
9. 1 SG boy has 6 packs... 2 SG boys have 12 packs ... 3 SG boys have 18 packs... 4 SG boys have 24 packs... 5 SG boys have 30 packs... ... ...

Bush rules!

2005-10-09T17:40:00.000+07:00

Another dick seen. Still full bush. Traumatised.

A Malaysian Boy in SG (Part II)

2005-10-05T21:43:00.000+07:00

It occurs to me that I have not been posting any entry since I have arrived in SG...

I realised..
1. Gay men in Singapore are more "open" and out... they seem to be everywhere;
2. They like go totally naked in the changing room... and all those I saw... have a full bush. Pretty gross... but it could be a trend here;
3. MRT brings me everywhere... but I never have to walk that much to get around (which is kinda ironic, dunch you think?);
4. The cost of living in Singapore is not that high... and Singaporeans get much better treatment at work;
5. It is VERY cruisy in MRT... and it could take just one smile to get laid;
6. GWM here are much much hotter than those in KL... and they are younger and fitter too;
7. There are a lot of men with hot bodies in SG... but they may not be gay. And no matter what... MJH has got the highest head count for hotties.

Curtain Falls

2005-09-28T20:13:00.000+07:00

It has been a while since I have declared that I am going to leave KL, and I am probably going to be gone for a while. Other than the few years in England, I have always been living in Kuala Lumpur. I grew up here, I studied here, I had my first kiss here, I fell in love here, I got heartbroken here. Most of the people that matter to me in my life are here, and they still are. My favourite curry mee, chee cheong fun and yong tau foo, my favourite gay club (note: it has recently been invaded by trolls), my school, my friends, my family, and home, are all here. Right here in KL.

I am not sure when I will be back... but I know I will be.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Duff! feat. Kelly Clarkson

Duff's Hot 20 (TM)

2005-09-28T18:26:00.000+07:00

The Duff's Hot 20 (TM)
Top 20 Positions /Issue Date: September 28, 2005
BEP Dethroned and Green Day Dropped Out Of Duff's Hot 20. Kelly, Beyonce and Ciara Dominate Chart.

1. Through The Fire ~ Chaka Khan (HOT SHOT DEBUT)
2. Since U Been Gone ~ Kelly Clarkson
3. 1, 2 Step ~ Ciara feat. Missy Elliot (GREATEST GAINER/ AIRPLAY)
4. Hollaback Girl ~ Gwen Stefani
5. Oh ~ Ciara feat. Ludacris
6. Slow ~ Kylie Minogue
7. My Humps ~ Black Eyed Peas
8. We Belong Together ~ Mariah Carey
9. Breakaway ~ Kelly Clarkson
10. Jumping Jumping ~ Destiny's Child
11. Black Coffee ~ All Saints
12. Do Somethin’ ~ Britney Spears
13. Don’t Lie ~ Black Eyed Peas
14. Because of You ~ Kelly Clarkson
15. 跳伞 ~ 郑秀文
16. Cool ~ Gwen Stefani
17. Escapade ~ Janet Jackson
18. Goodies ~ Ciara
19. Don’t Tell Me ~ Avril Lavigne
20. Soldier ~ Destiny's Child

The most popular singles and tracks, according to radio audience impressions measured by Duff, sales data compiled by Duff's iPod, iTune and Maryann, and playlists from select non-monitored radio stations.

Duff's Sure Shot: Like You ~ Bow Wow feat. Ciara

Just Like An Ordinary Sunday

2005-09-25T20:44:00.000+07:00

It wasn't just any Sunday. I didn't go clubbing on Saturday night so that I can wake up early enough to have breakfast with my family. Then I followed my dad to my grandma's house to visit my 90 years old grandma, who has been really sick for a long time. I also met my third and fourth auntie (father side) and my auntie-in-law(?) (the wife of my third uncle). The aunties were blabbering non stop for 2 hours, telling me about their lives, their sons' lives, and all the irrelevant stuffs.

Then I ta pau my favourite curry mee, yong tau foo and chee cheong fun from chong hwa hong (Chinese alley?) behind Petaling Street for lunch for my family. Watched TV with my dad, some boring program on Wah Lai Toi and then a short nap. A usual 5km jog before dinner and then stuff myself silly with my mum's cooking. Then TV again with my parents until late.

Sounds like any other boring Sunday... but these are things that I will miss most.

I don't wanna close my eyes,

I don't wanna fall asleep,

Cause I'd miss you babe,

And I don't wanna miss a thing,

Cause even when I dream of you,

The sweetest dream would never do,

I'd still miss you babe,

And I don't wanna miss a thing.

Duff! feat. Aerosmith

I Want To Be a Manipulative Bitch

2005-09-24T11:53:00.000+07:00

It wasn't until yesterday that it occurs to me again that I am really stupid and innocent all these while. I mean I knew that I am kinda stupid relationship wise and very very naive, but it was a huge blow last night.

From now on, I want to be a manipulative bitch. I shall not be available, I shall not care for their feelings, I shall not be afraid to trouble them, I shall not be shy to spend their money. My relationship should be tiring, demanding, I want all the attention, lavish gifts and fancy dinners. I shall have no qualms with breaking any hearts, spending their money, or making them run around me, or crawl if they have to.

Men are jerks.

I drove all night to get to you

Is that alright?

I drove all night

Crept in your room

Woke you from your sleep

To make love to you

Is that alright?

I drove all night

Duff! feat. Cyndi Lauper

The Inaugural Duff's Hot 30

2005-09-22T14:55:00.000+07:00

The Duff's Hot 30 (TM)
Top 20 Positions /Issue Date: September 21, 2005

1. My Humps ~ Black Eyed Peas
2. Boulevard of Broken Dreams ~ Green Day
3. When I Come Around ~ Green Day
4. Goodies ~ Ciara
5. Wake Me Up When September Ends ~ Green Day
6. Mr. Brightside ~ The Killers
7. Don't Phunk With My Heart ~ Black Eyed Peas
8. 1, 2 Steps ~ Ciara feat. Missy
9. Oh ~ Ciara feat. Ludacris
10. Don't Cha ~ Pussy Cat Dolls
11. Cool ~ Gwen Stefani
12. Don't Lie ~ Black Eyed Peas
13. Hollaback Girl
14. Do Something ~ Britney Spears
15. Stop ~ Spice Girls
16. I'm Gonna Be Alright ~ Jennifer Lopez
17. Don't Speak ~ No Doubt
18. No Scrubs ~ TLC
19. This is How A Heart Breaks ~ Rob Thomas
20. Say You'll Be There ~ Spice Girls

The most popular singles and tracks, according to radio audience impressions measured by Duff, sales data compiled by Duff's iPod, iTune and Maryann, and playlists from select non-monitored radio stations.

The Duff's Sure Shot: Through The Fire ~ Chaka Khan

unpacking ... and packing

2005-09-18T19:33:00.000+07:00

It is about 10 days away from my last day in KL. lotsa packing to do... I wish I could travel light... there are lotsa baggage that I wish I could leave behind ... some of them are just too heavy... and I am tired.. very tired...

Temple Of Zeus

2005-09-18T19:15:00.000+07:00

Today I saw a man with the nicest body working out in the same gym as I. All the definitions are amazing, the arms are huge, and he has the perfectly tanned skin. The catch is, he looks really old. From his face I would say he looks... 40+? 50? Well, I really respect him having that kind of hot body and having that kind of body at that age... But I couldn't help but to wonder... you can have a body like a Greek god, but in reality, will anyone pick Zeus over Hercules?

iComplete

2005-09-13T21:32:00.000+07:00

Yes...

Legend of the Double Shot Hero (Part I)

2005-09-12T09:23:00.000+07:00

Part I -- Timely snow

It was a cold winter night. The snowfall this year is extra heavy and most of the streets and buildings are covered by thick layer of snow. All streets in Rainbow Village are dead quiet as there is absolutely no pedestrian in sight. Smoke from kitchen chimneys are clearly visible as all women in the village are busy preparing for a sumptuous meal for their family for the coming winter solstice, while the men are just ... sleeping. Men, are men after all.

Ah Hua, just like any other woman, is busy cooking and preparing festive food when she heard a knock on the door. "Jioh, Ah Meng, move your lazy ass and get the door can or not?" she yelled. Ah Meng, Ah Hua's husband was just lazing around reluctantly went to get the door. There stood a Taoist priest in a dull yellow long gown, full of blood. Alerted, Ah Meng asked "Tao Master, are you attacked by the bandits? Are you injured?" The Taoist priest slowly gaze into Ah Meng's eyes, rolled his eyes and said... "Of course the bandits la. Abuthen what else? Play with my own blood ar? But I have killed them all with my speciality technique One Finger Point and Kun Lun 72 Swords." Ah Meng shows shocked face... "Wah you carry so many swords with you one ar?" "72 refers to the moves, not the number of swords!" "Say properly next time!"

Ah Hua overheard the conversation and came out to greet the Taoist priest. She couldn't help but to notice that although the Taoist priest is already in his mid thirties, he still has flawless skin, tight pecs and firm ass. "By the way, I am Master Mu," the Taoist priest speaks as he turn to look at Ah Lian, "And please stop checking me out. It's pitera, bench press and lots of squats, plus i practice the light kungfu. The leaping and hopping and jumping from branches to branches helps." Ah Hua blushed as she was thinking to herself, wah, this Master Mu really knows what is in my mind... wonder if he knows that I think his nails are nice too. "I do my filing using my sword," Master Mu then added (proudly), " My beauty is not by accident." Ah Hua gasps.

The couple invited Master Mu into their hut. "Jioh, is this the House of Wax?" Master Mu asked as he stepped into the hut. It is Ah Hua's turn to roll her eyes. "Aiyo, winter month ma... never seen wax duck, wax meat and lap cheong before meh?" Master Mu explained that he is a vegetarian so he asked for some taufu and some veg. He needed the protein after his workout... and no, no rice. That's carbs.

After a sumptuous meal, it is time for the Taoist priest to continue his journey. Master Mu thanked the couple profusely for their hospitality. "Ah Hua, I want you to take this bottle of pitera essence. Look at me. My skin is like made of water, soft soft one, I so like to touch it." Ah Hua pretended to be very pai seh to take the gift but without much hassling she took the bottle. "I wish I could teach you kungfu, but you two are just too old to begin to take up any form of kungfu." Ah Meng let out a sigh... and said "yeah, maybe you can teach our son next time." Master Mu happily said, "Yeah, when you have one! I will teach him all my kungfu. All the 72 swords and the One Finger Point." "Great! my son Ah Ser will be back today from his grandma's house," Ah Meng exclaimed. "Shit... me and my big mouth," Master Mu thought, "Yeah I can start teaching him kungfu on his 10th birthday." "Ah Ser turns 10 today." "Duh!"

Just like that, Master Mu has became the sifu of Ah Ser. For the next 6 winters, Master Mu kept his words and came and taught Ah Ser kungfu.

Metamorphosis

2005-09-07T16:09:00.000+07:00

I remembered just a few months ago I think I must have been one of the most prudent and practical (spending wise) gay man in KL, or stingy, as you may call it. I have one of the oldest handphone model, I don't wear designer underwear, I don't have many fancy dresses, and absolutely no bling bling. I don't even have a digital camera!

And then I bought this... My favourite toy for a couple of months...
and then (don't mind me) ... which makes me feel sexy wherever I go ... (NB: I look ALMOST like the model of that underwear... only slightly fairer.)

and I got a lil assistance to make me more fabulous:

and finally, I am going to take the last step. Just like any other gay man in the 21st century... I am going to buy this...

Never mind the quality. Never mind the specs. It's chic. And I will be complete.

Don't Look Back In Anger

2005-09-05T10:57:00.000+07:00

In a city as small as KL, it is not surprising how often we will bump into our ex-es, ex-dates, or simply someone that we have been dying to bed but failed. More often than not, in a club or other plu hang outs, or even some house parties. Many of them will maintain the distance by giving the acknowledging nod and polite smile, whilst some may come over to flaunt their latest conquest and to brag, on the pretext of catching up.

There is really... nothing much to catch up. I mean, what do I tell him? Like I have got no new boyfriend / dates and I am pretty much the same after you left me / I left you? Then I will have to listen to him talk about how he met his new bf, got a new job and a promotion? What's worse is, why must all of them (in my case, all but one but looks like thrash) look so much cuter and hotter after we stop seeing each other? Why can't they be ~~fat, out of shape and bald~~ the same? C has lost that mass and is more defined now. I has gain some mass and is also more defined now. M has this stupid glow on his face and lost some weight too... and his grin... hmmph!

Well, the thing is... they can't be more fabulous than me. I don't have to keep hating them, and the last I checked, I don't hate them anymore. But I do not have to wish them well either right? The whole idea is... they have be more miserable than me. Like Miranda says, it is a competition to see who dies more miserably. So... for those ex-es and ex-dates of mine who have became thrashy, remain that way. For those who are not, I am catching up soon.

Bittersweet memories

That is all I'm taking with me

So goodbye, please don't cry

We both know you're not what I need

I don't hope life treats you kind,

And I don't hope you have all you've dreamed of

And I don't wish to you joy and happiness

But above all this, I don't wish you love

Duff! feat. Whitney Houston

Fabulousness Loves Company

2005-09-05T09:20:00.000+07:00

Saturday night. A long awaited night out with some of my buddies, Jane, Goat (sorry, don't know how to address the goat other than by calling him a goat...), Winged and Kitty. Destination: Liquid. Our very favouritest gay club in KL.

There is supposed to be a re-opening of another club across the town. Tempted to give it a try, but it's supposedly by invitation only. Biggie deal. A friend's friend told my friend that, and he IS ON the list. Wah... even bigger deal. For the record, I know 10,000 other people who are on that list. None of them made a big deal out of it. Besides, to get in is just an sms away. Anyway, the stubborn me thought... well.. we have each other. I mean, even if Liquid is empty, we HAVE each other and that should suffice.

I was wrong. I was so terribly wrong. I think the opening of the other club has pulled everybody who is remotely cute / average looking over that it created a vacuum in Liquid. It would have been ok if it stayed that way.... but it didn't. The vacuum was quickly filled up with trolls. Trolls from varies caves, forest, or god-knows-where just came to throng Liquid. Civilians alert! I was trying so hard to enjoy myself with my sisters, with lots of vodka. I need lots of them. And then they played red blooded Kylie. I remember she still has a pair of boobs when this song was hot. It would have more hot had they played Dancing Queen. Immediately I knew that is the last straw, life is short and as much as I love my sisters... I need to be surrounded by more beautiful people.

And then we were there, in the other club. About 1.30 a.m... we immediately realised what we have been missing out. Almost everyone is there. Old friends, cute old friends, people that I have dated, people that I have wanted to date, people that I have slept with, and people that I would to sleep with. The goat says there is hardly any space for us to dance... but least we could shrug. Yes, we could shrug. I would rather shrug together with 10,000 other cute boys there and do my 1, 2 steps.

Then me and my sisters just shrug together in the club happily ever after.

You’re a teaser, you turn ’em on

Leave them burning and then you’re gone

Looking out for another, anyone will do

You’re in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Duff! feat ABBA

This is me.... then

2005-09-02T08:53:00.000+07:00

It has recently becoming more and more apparent to me that time is really working against me. As I aged (reluctantly), I am earning more, I gained my seniority at work,I have mellowed a lot (yes, I was even more hot tempered back then), I have also become more jaded (it is good to be jaded)... but I have also become extremely cynical, my hairline is receding, my eyes look tired and wrinkled (wrinkles adds character but hey, Big Eyes are in!) and I definitely get a lot lesser attention than I used to.

Was hanging out with Jane in Ikano Power Centre on Merdeka Day when Jane suddenly asked... Do you remember how do you look like when we first knew each other? I got to know Jane and many others shortly after I entered the scene in December 2001 . I must have got to know Jane some time in 2002. I tried very hard to visualise the ME then. Then I see a young guy in his prime, all eager and innocent, wearing his best shirt to Liquid every Saturdays (my fashion sense was never great, but I think I was a lot more conservative back then) and most importantly, all FRESH. Back then I could party until wee hours in the morning and still look alright the next day. The zits (if any) will go away in no time. The time when I know that everytime I go to the club there will be guys who will come up to me and ask for my numbers. (For the record, AND YES I AM BRAGGING, I got about 30+ people asking for my number in my first 10 visits. And asking for my number means they actually say, "Can I have your number?" or "Can I call you some time?". Chatting me up doesn't count. I don't have that many fingers and toes to count and keep track. After the first 10 visits I just didn't keep track anymore, yes, I ran out of fingers and toes.). Yes, that was me... then.

And then there is downhill. And a slippery slope.

Dont cha wish your boyfriend was hot like me

Dont cha wish your boyfriend was a freak like me

Dont cha, dont cha

Dont cha wish your boyfriend was raw like me

Dont cha wish your boyfriend was fun like me

Dont cha, dont cha

Duff! feat. Pussycat Dolls & Busta Rhymes

Blogger, Web personals & Reality

2005-08-25T08:59:00.000+07:00

I have recently received a message on one of my many profiles created on the gay websites which simply says: "I like your blog. Would you like to meet up?" (not quoted verbatim cos I can't remember the exact words used).

Which, to me, is pretty scary...

First of all. My writing skill is far from fantastic (sharddup! i know!).

I have NEVER won any international writing awards or anything of that sort (you don't say!). Blogging is just something I like to do once in a while since I am serving my notice now and sometimes I am too bored in the office. My topics are also pretty random and plain, it doesn't:

(1) create controversies (nothing about coming out, coming in term with my sexuality, or turning straight); and

(2) record every damn thing I do every damn day (e.g. today, I have a good hair day, then I went to Mid Valley, then I meet 2 cute guys and i saw 3 pairs of nice shoes, nice shoes are good, they are pretty and they make me happy. good hair day + nice shoes = fabulous day. yay! then i meet up some frens, then we eat rice, soup, chicken, fish, pork, everything very yummy, and then i got stomachache, then i go pang sai, then i used up 2 packets of tissue, the tissue is the Scottex ones and it's really nice... yadda yadda yadda).

Me blog is fabulous .... but nothing interesting or special really... Question: He ACTUALLY likes my blog? And how the hell did he manage to find the connection? *play with blonde hair

Secondly, does that mean that guy actually like my blog and what I wrote (which is BORING: refer to abovementioned point) more than my look, my flawless complexion, my killer smile and my ... ahem... washboard abs? I know I have always said that my personality is my best attribute, but hey, it's a gay web personal, give some credit to my physical attributes, will ya? Now I am offended.

Thirdly, and most importantly, since when does it become OK to cross the lil invisible boundary between blogging, web personals and reality?

I have always thought that it would be odd to know the other bloggers in person. Yes, I must admit I may be a lil curious about how the fellow bloggers look like, especially bloggers such as Datin (I am curious how a witty Datin looks like, and if she is really a Datin) and Shigeki (simply because he is ... err... Japanese), and maybe if they are what they potray themselves to be in their blog. Mere curiousity. Do I really want to meet someone who reads my blog? Maybe not.

Bloggers should remain their anonymity... unless of course their entire blog is only about them pang sai-ing, having a good hair day, or the entire blog is not about expressing themselves but pleasing the audience (which I have tried really really hard, but failed miserably). Once the anonymity is lost, I really think it will affect the "freedom of speech". E.g. now I cannot openly criticize some oversized diva who is the third best selling female artist of all time in US, even with the boost from her latest "critically acclaimed" album. Unless of course they are close friends who are "allowed" to read your blog (e.g. in my case, Wingedman -- yes, more links to you, you traffic whore; AJ; WJ; Darn Ed and especially Kitty), who should be able to handle the truth (especially Kitty... again). =)

Call me conservative, but i think there is an unspoken rule here... there should be no intersection between blogging and the real world. In the bloggin world, I shall have a right to rant, moan, whine, brag and talk about me-me-me-me-me all the time, without looking bad or having that reflected on me in person. And please... leave comments here, if any, and not on my web personal. Unless of course you look like Brad Pitt or some hot latino porn stars... if you are, please leave your contact particulars wherever and I will still be more than happy to meet you in person. And yes, I am still shallow.

You're insinuating that I'm hot

But these goodies boy, are not

Just for any of the many men that's tryn'a get on top

No, you can't call me later

And I don't want your number

I'm not changin' stories

Just respect the play I'm callin'

Duff! feat. Ciara & Petey Pablo

I wish...

2005-08-17T08:58:00.000+07:00

Today, I have been asked what do I wish for this year. As far as I can remember, none of my birthday wishes actually came true except one year when I finally got M into bed. Frankly I do not really believe that a simple wish on one's birthday will really come true... But it got me thinking... what do I really really wish for. Do I wish for that pay raise that I have been whining about? Or do I want that ripped body more? Maybe a winning lottery will be nice.

And then I realise... All those things that I have been whining about doesn't seem to matter that much after all. I could work hard for it if I wanted it bad enough. I could be rich and gorgeous if I work hard for it. I know I can. There is one thing however, that I really really wish for:

I wish my parents will have good health and happiness for many years to come.

It may seems like a simple wish... but for a son that is going to leave home to work, not knowing when he will return, not knowing how his aging parents is coping, not knowing if they have taken their medication, not knowing if their aching backs is worsening or not, not being able to be there for them in case of emergency... this is what I really hope for.

I know I will probably not be able to repay their kindness, ever, in my entire life. I know I am not the perfect son, I have too many flaws. I have tried to make them proud, but I know I have disappointed them in many ways. I love my parents more than anyone else in this world, more than anyone that I will ever love. But I know no one loves me unconditionally and no one will love me and accept me the way they do. Someone that suffers more than me when I was sick, someone who will not go for holidays without me, someone who ensures that I have enough to eat all the time, have pretty clothes to wear and enough to spend. I may be getting a lil emotional here, but same time next month I will be away from home. To an unknown land, to start a new life and starting a new chapter of my life ... without THEM.

I will miss massaging my dad's shoulders whilst he is watching tv. I will miss bringing them out for nice dinners during their birthdays and father's/ mother's day or for no reasons at all. I will miss my mum's version of the entire synopsis for the entire drama series. I will miss the Sunday dim sum. I will also miss all the dramas at home, all the over-greasy food, the curfew and the nagging. I will miss the family dinners that my mum will cook too much and all of us have to stuff ourselves silly. I will miss them for just being there... yes, just being there. Yes, I will miss all these. Every single bit of these.

There is this poem (together with my attempt to translate it) that I wish to share, who those who have read this far:

慈母手中线，
the thread in the mother's hand

游子身上衣。
the clothes on the son that is about to leave home

临时密密缝，
sewing meticulously at very last moment before the departure

意恐迟迟归。
worrying that the son will not be able to return for a long period of time
谁言寸草心，
the love of the son is like small lil grass

报得三春晖。
unable to repay the love of Mum which is like the ever shining sun

Backstroke of the West

2005-08-11T11:13:00.000+07:00

This is (obviously) not my original post. Came across this blog and it is really really hilarious.

http://americaninlebanon.blogspot.com/2005/07/backstroke-of-west.html

*giggles...

The wish power are together with you

The Best of Duff!

2005-07-26T08:41:00.000+07:00

Why is Duff so popular?

Duff has inspired many...

and greatly motivating...

Pretty and talented ...

I mean very talented...

It is therefore not surprising to hear that...

and people screaming...

Thank you for YOUR support all these years.

As a token of appreciation to all my fans out there, we are giving out our very exclusive Duff merchandise FREE!!!

To redeem your FREE Duff merchandise, please send in a self addressed envelope together with your proof of purchase and a processing fee of USD2,000 (by way of bankers' cheque only) to No. 1 Fabulous Avenue, Springfield. Delivery will be made within 14 days of clearance of the bankers' cheque.

I Haven't Grown Nuts Either

2005-07-25T14:02:00.000+07:00

There are many times when I feel terribly insecure or inadequate... and there are many other times when I wish I could be smarter, better looking, have a nicer body, taller (sharddup you biatches out there), richer, wittier, more charming, etc.. but I know very well that only some of these may materialise, some is unfortunately stuck with me for the rest of MY life.

Wingedman in his last blog talked about his latest infatuation. "I don't have the balls to approach you and probably will never grow any. But I want to so bad." Doesn't that sound all so familiar? I must admit that I am very chicken when it comes to approaching or talking to a guy I like. As far as I can remember, I have only walked up to ONE guy to ask for his number face-to-face, and it took me 20 months before I could finally bring myself to do it. That is also due to the fact that he is not responding to me online. Damn. (Unlike Wingedman, I am not worried about the fact that my dream guy may be more perfect in my mind than in person. The only thing I think about is whether he is a top or bottom. Whoops.)

Guess deep down I am really afraid of rejection. It could be due to past bad experiences. It could be due to some childhood fear. I don't know. I could be just a pure pessimist. I am afraid that I will make a fool of myself. I am afraid that I am just simply not good enough. There are times when you see some real hot guys dancing in a club or just doing some sports or just doing absolutely nothing at all, looking all so confident and fabulous. I often wonder how it feels like to Mr Popular, to be able to walk into a club KNOWING that you can get any guy you want. I often wonder...

Take A for example. I have noticed him for 1 year plus by now. Though it was nothing like my feelings towards M, I do think A is really really cute. There he was on the podium in LQ last saturday, dancing and shaking his butt and having this confident smirk on his face. For a split second I actually felt a lil down because I know that A is beyond my league And I will NEVER be good enough for A And I will never be able to bring myself to go up to him and ask him out.

No one knows how does it feel for people like me growing up...

Years go by, will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my hand
Years go by, will I choke on my tears
'Til finally there is nothing left
One more casualty you know
We're too easy easy easy...

Look At Me! (Borrowed from Jane's Blog)

2005-07-25T08:47:00.000+07:00

It has been a while since my last serious (wait, is this supposed to be serious?) entry. Just thought I could warm up with something light before I start ranting again... here is something that I have "borrowed" from Jane's Blog:

Some facts about Maryann:

I'm not a crossdresser! Jane isnt my real name (duh) its the name of my car. Im a 25 year old guy
Maryann is not my real name either. But close enough.

I do not look like your average Malaysian but who does? I can look chinese, malay, thai, arabic & one japanese lady thought I was japanese in Japan. Its all your perception.
I look 100% chinese. Though I am mixed. Hokkien and Teochew.

I indulge in cigs, alcohol (eventho I have allergic reactions) and other stuff even.
I was in AA, and I don't smoke.

I'm experimental & like trying out new things.
Oh yea.

I have a passion for sushi but only the cooked ones.
I love it raw. RAW~~~ oh yea.

I wear glasses~ 175/175
Must I disclose my power here? Can I talk about my d*** size instead?

I believe in God but I don't believe in mindless worship.
I am atheist (tho most of the time I just say I am Buddhist so no one will preach to me). The only time I talk about God (no offence) is when I am doing jewknowwhat (oh my ***, i am c******) and when I lip-sync to 'Like A Prayer' (and no, I don't cross dross. and no, no feather involved).

I always considered myself an "unique beauty" and I'm very attracted by unique beauty as well. But intelligence & communication do matter.
I can do a dumb latino, dumb chinese, blonde blonde, dumb middle eastern, dumb japanese, etc. (not necessarily in that order, one after another or together. either way. I am very obliging). No talking is necessary.

I feel strongly about the environment and thus avoid unnecessary packaging/waste whenever I can.
I still use condoms and plastic bags.

I love my friends ferociously and protect them.
I love WORLD PEACE. *waves

I believe there is always an alternative to any situation. In truth we are free to choose, even when it seems like we are obligated.
I believe that too. Except that it's A LOT HARDER in real life. Otherwise I will still have 2 bottles of Absolut Vanilla.

I like comfortable clothes (torn & worn out stuff). But enjoy dressing up when the moment is right.
I love dressing up, but I love undressing more.

I'm a semi closet case~ I only out myself to people who I think can handle it. No good would come out of announcing my sexual preference to the world.
I am totally closeted, other than in LQ, gaydar, gay.com, fridae and all other gay websites.

I'm currently dating a half punjabi half cindi indian boy one year younger than me.
I'm currently single. Last guy I slept with was a hot latino (of spanish and italian descendent) with awesome abs. Yes, you heard me... awesome abs.

My hair looks best when it is slightly messy & allowed to flop freely.
I like to keep mine short, and I secretly wanted to bleach 'em but I am scared.

I can be an amazing bitch to people who annoy me but extremely attentive to those who do me right.
I can be an amazing bitch to EVERYONE.

My eyes & eyebrows are my sexiest attributes.
My lips. Muack Muack!
*Push Angelina away. Brad is mine.

My favourite genre of music is alternative rock but I listen to alot of other stuff too. Music is important in my life.
I listen to mostly pop and rock. I think Barbra Streisand is the best female artist EVER (although I don't listen to her songs). I also admire female artists with great vocals such as Hilary Duff, Britney Spears, Ashlee and Jessica Simpsons and Lindsay Lohan.

I can be amazingly horny. (like now)
All the time BABY.

Thank you Jane. :-)

Bean King

2005-07-11T07:57:00.000+07:00

If a person who likes white guys is a PQ, a person who likes Asian is a Rice Queen, then I am officially, a Bean King. Mi chico latino!

Colonisation

2005-07-03T18:33:00.000+07:00

One may often wonder why would Michael Jackson want to turn from a black man to a white woman. Apart from the fact that he could be psycho, there is also a great possibility that he has been the victim of racism from his own race?

I still remember when I used to carry like 10 files under the blazing sun, with my blazier and tie on trying to cross the road in front of Dataran Merdeka. It remains a miracle that I survive all those 2Fast2Furious wannabes while attempting to run across the road. There are also times when I see ALL cars stop when a white woman was just waiting by the kerb.

I grow up in KL, and have been to Hong Kong and Singapore. Great cities, also happened to be ex-colony of the Great Britain empire. I grow up with this complex ... I grow up to hate the government policies, to hate the fact that white men (no matter how old, fat and ugly they are) can get laid easily, to hate the fact how I have to suffer from racism from my fellow malaysians just because I am not white enough. English is not my first language, and I am proud that I can read and write Chinese fluently. Did ANYONE ever stop and tell me ... "Oh, your Mandarin is so good!" NO. All I get is some ruthless comments about my grammar mistake, my pronounciation and whatever not. More often than not, I am called an Ah Beng. Since when does it become OK to be a BANANA, and not OK to be an Ah Beng? Why are we subjecting ourselves to racism by our own kind?

I often wonder, what is it that makes the white people get these privileges that we don't. Take JW for example, who has a marketing degree from Monash. I mean, none of my classmate even want to go into "marketing". The entry requirement back then, was so low that almost anyone could get in, but none of us bothered. But none of this really matter now, does it? He is earning like 10 times our pay... for sitting there, not doing anything and fucking our boys. And he is proud of that. The fact is, we Asians... allowed that to happen to us.

YOU can make a difference.

A Malaysian Boy in SG (Part I)

2005-07-01T16:30:00.000+07:00

When Carrie leaves NY, she was going to be with a man she loves, and giving up everything she has.
When Maryann leaves KL, she is going to find everything else, and leave all her loved ones behind...

A Fish Needs A Bicycle

2005-06-27T18:34:00.000+07:00

A gay man needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle.

The Art of Letting Go

2005-06-27T08:10:00.000+07:00

Found this on the website about a book called "THE ART OF LETTING GO ~ The Journey from Separation in Love to Fulfillment in Life" by Carlino Giampolo. Gonna reproduce it here. This is gonna be a long and boring blog. Well, the beauty of it is, this is MY blog. Yeah! This is my shit:

THE ART OF LETTING GO

Love
Surround yourself with love. Though this may seem to you the most impossible emotion to experience in the first stages following a separation, it is to become your course of action when you realize that love is the key to your control of self and to the door that is opening toward your new reality. Love is what brought you into your relationship and love is the power that will lead you to the meaningful resolution of your situation.
This decision to love must first take effect with reference to yourself and to the person from whom you are separating. You must love yourself for those qualities which brought you into the realm of that other person: your willingness to give of yourself and to take the risk of being hurt. And to love the other person in spite of the pain you are feeling is to allow that person the same freedom you will both need in order to move on. Love is a force that renews us and prepares us for tomorrow. Hatred is a shackle that keeps us tied to the past. Drop the shackles!
The one from whom you have separated will not soon be forgotten, though great distances may separate the two of you. Give the memory of that person the chance to help you by insisting on remembering the beautiful experiences that united you. The painful ones which separated you will need no coaxing from the memory. Turn your anger into love. Take the qualities you found in the other person and develop them in yourself, use them as a way of better experiencing your love for all the others who are important in your life. After all, those were qualities which brought you into love and they are no less worthy today.
Love has no guilt and no boundaries. In fact, it has no definition. Yes, it is the force which takes us out of ourselves so that we may share ourselves with others. Yet it is also the force that leads us into ourselves, so that we may understand and prepare ourselves for the act of giving. You cannot resolve the bitterness and pain of the separation you are experiencing by continuing to dwell on these feelings. Come alive with the force which is the essence of life itself. You are leaving one relationship, one stop in your journey. There is still a path before you. Walk in love.

Strength

Now that you have made the decision to let go, be constantly aware that you have within you the strength to carry out that decision in such a way that what lies ahead of you can only lead to success. Remember that it was your own fortitude which allowed you to face honestly the need for this separation. And your own inner resources provided you with the capacity for going through with the only course of action which could lead you to a meaningful direction for your life. You are now embarking on a time in your life when you will need to make other very difficult decisions. Be convinced that the same inner strength which has brought you this far will continue to enable you to take charge of your life.
It is natural for you to seek the help of loved ones and friends during this trying period. Such help, when offered, should be accepted and utilized by you with a sense of appreciation and love. Keep in mind, however, that the burden ultimately lies on your own shoulders and that you are indeed strong enough to bear this weight with a positive attitude; and that, if necessary, you can stand alone in doing it. Your task is to heal your wounds now so that you will be prepared to contribute to your own growth and development and, in turn, to that of others.
Continue to reevaluate your decisions as you work through each phase of this breakup. At each step, have the courage to do what is best for you. Be strong-minded and resilient in your efforts to let go. Every decision you make during this time should reflect your awareness of your own power to succeed. Let no one intimidate you. With perseverance you will see your way through all the decisions necessary for getting you back to your normal self.
By drawing upon the power which you have worked so hard at developing, you will be able to meet any eventuality caused by this separation. Be steadfast in your determination to avoid playing the role of victim or martyr. Think of the worst possible scenario in connection with this breakup. Is it that bad? Surely not. The most difficult scenario, that of the process of deciding to let go, is one which you have already mastered because of your inner strength. That same strength is still yours for meeting every challenge that stands before you. Continue to be firm in your decision. Walk forward courageously.

Belief
The measure of success you achieve in the process of letting go will be determined to a great degree by your beliefs. They are the framework upon which you build your future. Your beliefs are the foundation for the shape your life will take from this point onward. As such they must be both solid and flexible. In other words, you must always be sure that the beliefs which form the base of your decisions and actions are strong enough to provide support for the directions in which you are planning to go; and yet at the same time, if these building blocks do not allow for creative self-expansion, then progress will be beyond your reach.
By acknowledging which of your beliefs are beneficial to you right now and which are not, you will achieve two goals; your liberation from the pain of separation and the reconstruction of a healthy base from which to conduct your future course of action.
It is during this time that you must assure yourself that the foundations of your actions are secure and capable of permitting growth and change. Remember that your beliefs predispose you to action; they precede experience. Take this opportunity to challenge your beliefs in all areas of your life. Hold onto those convictions that enable you to maintain a sense of self-worth and allow you to control your own destiny. Change those that you know are preventing or slowing down your progress toward realizing your full potential as a human being.
Focus on where you are now. Analyze those beliefs of yours which have most to do with the process of letting go. Understand that if your beliefs in this process are centered around personal growth and healing, then your thoughts will coincide with these beliefs and will be guided by them. In this way you can actually empower yourself and bring about this growth and healing.
In order to have a more complete understanding of the fundamental beliefs which determine your actions, examine your beliefs with reference to each chapter of this book. By doing so you will be able to identify the underlying beliefs that are hurting yourself and others. Similarly, you will be assured of those basic principles that are essential to your well being and to creating wholesome relationships with other people. And as you make the choice to build upon these positive attitudes, your potential for growth and happiness will expand.

Giving
At this time, it is natural for you to be thinking about all that you have given to that person from whom you are now separating. Not only is this natural; it is necessary, in order for you to establish a better understanding of your potential for future growth. To dwell upon the idea that you gave too much or too little, however, is counterproductive and will keep you tied to the past. You must be able to see the act of giving as being intimately connected to that which you receive in your life experiences.
In order to have a clearer knowledge of the relationship between giving and receiving, you will have to consider what your motivation was in giving something in the first place. Where you feel pain or resentment for what you have given, the guiding force behind the giving was itself negative. It was based upon a calculation of what you expected to receive in return. The benefits of love cannot be calculated. Where you feel genuine joy for having given, it is because your giving was really a sharing of yourself. Giving as sharing of oneself is the very foundation of love.
Your mind should be focused on the spiritual sharing which was the core of your relationship. This is not to say that the material concerns involved in this separation are not important. They are; but they are secondary to your development as a person capable of sharing a life with someone else. And you should treat them as such. If there must be a division of shared material possessions, then go about making this division with a sense of fairness and love.
When you give freely, you are always the recipient. Keep this idea foremost in your mind. As you examine your past, try to recognize the occasions when your open sharing of yourself was the source of your joy and of your sense of freedom. Concentrate upon the experiences in which the love you received was the pure counterpart of the love you gave.
This period of separation affords you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and your potential for giving. Carry the fruits of the experiences you shared in the relationship into your present life. Practice freely the act of giving and of seeing this giving as a sharing of yourself. Life itself is the greatest giver of all. By realizing this, you will be at peace with yourself and capable of giving back to life your greatest gift-yourself.

Self-image
The way in which you see yourself and your relationship to the world around you is the core of the image you convey to your fellow human beings, and lies at the center of the interactions which take place between you and them. Before you can hope to succeed in achieving harmony with the world, you must first confront the task of understanding yourself. This is of course, an on-going process, one in which you have been constantly involved throughout your life. During this period of your separation from a loved one, however, it is absolutely essential that you concentrate on the importance of self-knowledge. The primary energies necessary for your victory over this present crisis can come only from you.
Maintain your self-respect and your sense of self-worth. Your positive qualities and achievements in life to this point have not suddenly dropped out of existence. The awareness you have of your own capacity for working through difficult situations is a priceless treasure at this time. Use it to its fullest advantage. It is a power which you have developed slowly and patiently through many seemingly insurmountable dilemmas, and to lose sight of it now would be to set up a dangerous stumbling block in your life. Know that you are strong enough to make it through this stressful time without losing any of your self-esteem.
It is true that predicaments like the one you are now experiencing are a tremendous drain on the personal resources needed in life to achieve and maintain well-being. Your storehouse of potentials, however, is not a shallow pool. By taking inventory of your strongest qualities and looking at them honestly, you will be able to use what you see in your total self-image as the means by which to get back to the business of your life, your future. At this moment you are actually in the middle of the process of determining the outcome of the separation with which you are now confronted.
Work with the thoughts and beliefs that empower you. You are the only one who can filter out the useless forces from your own conception of yourself, forces such as guilt and self-blame. By concentrating on the best of the elements which make up your total image of yourself, you will be able to come through this experience complete and prepared for your own growth and development.

Fear
In this period of change you are living through you owe it to yourself to remove from your path all obstacles which might prevent you from realizing the new goals you have set for yourself. Fear is one of the greatest impediments to self-realization. And the fear of loneliness is one of the first emotions to be conquered during a time of separation, since it gives birth to a multitude of other fears which can only hinder your progress. You need to understand the nature of fear in order to overcome it. The anxiety you are feeling is rooted in a set of beliefs which are faulty.
One of these mistaken beliefs is that you are incapable of being alone, even for a limited period of time, and that to do so will render you helpless. While it is true that you must confront and understand your fears on your own in order to do away with them, this should not be equated with loneliness. Think of this period as one in which you are allowing yourself the freedom to come to terms with your own reality. This is the time when you must discover your erroneous beliefs and change them, so that they will no longer stand in your way. It is only by converting this fear into something positive that you can truly prevent the separation that fear creates between you and your own true feelings, thoughts and identity.
Fear also feeds upon another illogical belief at a time such as this: the belief that you do not love well enough. Simply stop for a moment and think of the qualities you possess for creating and maintaining meaningful interpersonal relationships and you will see that this fear, like so many, is imaginary. Think of the risks you run if you allow unrealistic fears to block your determination to see your way through this separation with a sense of self-love and a vision of the achievements which lie ahead of you.
Confront those fears which do have true substance. Look at them honestly and determine the course of action within your power for resolving them. These fears should be thought of as a challenge which you are more than prepared to meet.
The overwhelming majority of your preoccupations, however, have no real substance at all. They are the result of faulty beliefs. They are fears which have grown out of your unwillingness to accept your own strength and personal worth. Release yourself from them. Focus on your present reality. Love yourself. Place yourself in harmony with the core of your own spiritual strength and with your capacity to enrich your own life and the lives of others. In order to discover what is true, what is your destiny, you must demand freedom from all fears.

The Future
With every form of adversity comes the seed of an equal or greater benefit. Look upon your future as the bright outcome of the storm you are living through during this time of your separation. Most importantly, you must believe in the positive value of this outcome, which will perhaps require a change in your perspective. If you keep in mind the idea that all things happen for a reason and a purpose, it will be easier for you to create out of your future a positive result of your painful experience.
The future will be happier. Make this your guiding principle. Meditate upon it; listen to the bright messages of things to come. Understand that if you have been capable of getting through the chaos of this separation, you are that much more prepared to be the master of what lies ahead of you. Think in these terms. Give yourself credit for the courage with which you are meeting your present circumstances and accept the fact that this very positive quality of yours is the springboard toward a positive future.
The future is the greatest source of inspiration that you have. It represents an entire world of possibilities. These possibilities are clearly within your reach only if you will develop now the proper attitude toward your own future potentials. Make an attempt to imagine and visualize this future. Set goals for yourself which are stepping stones in the direction of that bright future as you imagine it. Before you now lies the greatest opportunity of all: the chance to realize your own growth and development to its maximum. Think of the experience of your separation as the first stage in the movement toward a better future life for yourself and for those whom you will encounter as you weave the texture of things as they are to be. You are now one step higher in the understanding of human relationships. And that understanding, without a doubt, is the most significant of all in the creation of a meaningful and successful future.
The optimism which is necessary in order to make things happen in your favor lies entirely within your grasp. Your whole future depends upon the attitude with which you approach it. Make that attitude the most positive one imaginable. Remember that your future is everything and that you have the power to make it as bright as you wish.

Oh well....

Hideous!

2005-06-27T07:50:00.000+07:00

I know I really shouldn't be too bothered by who my ex-es or ex-dates sleep with. I shouldn't. I shouldn't.

But why is it bothering me so much? Urgh....

It's H-I-D-E-O-U-S!

Happiness does come in some doses

2005-06-25T12:30:00.000+07:00

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things:

Breakfast @ La Bodega
Banana Leaf Rice @ Nirvana
Southwestern Cobb salad @ Chilli's
Pralines & Cream
Spider Temaki @ Genki
Kinder Bueno
Chilli sauce in Coca Restaurant
Tako pachi
Toast with kaya and butter & half boiled eggs with teh si
McNuggets
Foie Gras
Long Island tea
Good comedy
Sun bathing
Slow walk by the beach
Road Trip
"As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie B. Hawkins
Radio playing my favourite songs
S-A-L-E
Wearing new clothes
Hot towel fresh from tumble dryer
Hot shower
Overhearing / receiving compliments
Making someone happy
Sleeping while it is raining heavily outside
No queue at the supermarket
First snow
First kiss
Lazy sunday afternoon
New computer / gadgets
McLaren winning
Ljunberg showing us his Arse-n-all!
Increment + Bonus

And then I don't feel so bad....

Waterloo

2005-06-25T11:21:00.000+07:00

ABBA!

My my, at waterloo napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelfIs always repeating itself

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - couldn’t escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - finally facing my waterloo

My my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuseI feel like I win when I lose

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - couldn’t escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you

And how could I ever refuseI feel like I win when I lose
Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - couldn’t escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo - finally facing my waterloo

Dejavu

2005-06-24T14:55:00.000+07:00

A puss told me he dreamt of me. This is what it means... according to Dream Moods.com.

Dejavu?

Wha? Wha?

2005-06-24T11:09:00.000+07:00

I often wonder.

Wha makes people talk like foreigners when they were only like... err.. 4 months abroad? Not to say they are dating the locals there. I dunno. Whilst some of them do come out sounding alright (still kinda odd), there are many others who are obviously... FAKING it.

Take SALAH B (tm) for example. He has never been overseas (ok, Singapore) and he speaks with a funny accent. It is neither American or England, or Australia for that matter.

I met a guy last night in a seminar. Worked in London, recently relocate (BACK) to Singapore. Funny accent too. I have never lived in London, but his accent is definitely not London accent, unless it's beyond Zone 6. For the record, I stayed in Hendon for 3 days. More often than not, people with funny accent, are strangely arrogant (or downright stupid). In our very brief lunch encounter (less than 1 hour) and in between our seven course lunch, this ex-London-recently-relocated-to-Singapore-self-claimed- high-flying-prick has managed to tell me (or whatever that I have managed to make out of his funny accent):
1. he has a flat in London, which he is renting out now.
2. he bought a flat in Singapore, for SGD800k. Original price paid by the vendor 3 years back was SGD1.2 million.
3. the vendor has some problem and he is telling the vendor off. but he is still buying that flat.
4. he worked in London, and he is fabulous.
5. his mother is from Melaka.
6. his colleague thinks that he will do VERY well in criminal litigation.
7. he is not sure if he will settle well into Singapore. hence he was renting a place when he first "relocate" to Singapore.
8. his current landlord is evicting him from his place.
9. despite what he said in (7), he was educated and brought up in Singapore.
10. his father is also a lawyer. Coincidently, a very very successful one.
11. All white men put lots of soya sauce when they are having chinese food. (maybe only those he knows. I have never seen them doing it.)
12. dessert is more important that the next seminar course. and he refuse to move until he gets his dessert.

By which time, I decided that I shall skip dessert. Save me the calories and the torture of having to listen to his life story. Like... Wha the f***?

I have learnt

2005-06-24T08:50:00.000+07:00

After all these years, I have learnt that:
1. you can't make anyone like / love you. No matter what you do.
2. you can't make stalkers / psycho go away.
3. you can't please everyone.
4. when someone offers (expensive) free meals, just take it.
5. when someone offers to buy you lavish gifts, just take it.
6. sex on first date is alright, it is better than no sex.
7. instead of some sweet cute 20-something college boys, you will be better off finding some that can pay for their own bills.
8. you get away a lot if you act dumb. you get away more if u act dumb and you are cute.
9. rather than spending time to please one person, you will be better off spending time to work out to attract everyone.
10. the more you try to please one person, the more he runs away from you.
11. if you call a person more than one time a day, you are pushy and needy. if they call you for more than one time a day, that is caring and concern.
12. doggie style is good.
13. when you are single and need to get off, porn is handy. when you need porn, Princess Willa is handy.
14. everyone has their role in the society. some of them is responsible to be fabulous. the rest are responsible to work hard to woo the fabulous ones.
15. alcohol is good. until you throw out.
16. men can have multiple orgasms.
17. Men ARE jerks. So are boys.
18. Men come and go.

Chronicles of a Drama Queen

2005-06-22T08:31:00.000+07:00

In less than 2 months' time. Maryann Duff is turning 27. Officially stepping into the "late twenties" category. Of course it is not as traumatising as getting the BIG 3, but scary enough.

Part I of Chronicles of a Drama Queen ("CDQ") is almost complete. The story started off exciting I must say... but as years go by, Maryann realises that things and people are a lot more complicated than she would imagine or like it to be. It's a cruel world out there and Maryann is jaded, but mostly scared. Scared of being alone, scared of getting involved, scared of getting isolated, scared of getting hurt, scared of missing out on fun, scared of being termed a slut, scared of not finding "the one", scared of failing. In Maryann's earlier years, she is young, innocent and (arguably) pretty. Stepping in her late twenties, she is older, for sure, but not necessarily wiser.

What is about to happen, which will be recorded in Part II of CDQ, is strangely exciting... It's going to be tough, challenging and could turn to be a disaster. There will be more men that will come in, go out of her life. There will be times when Maryann will be hurt, engage in tiresome mind games, and lots of meaningless sex.

Life is an ordeal itself.

Multiple Orgasms

2005-06-21T00:19:00.000+07:00

9 oysters, 3 servings of soft shell crab, beef fillet with pate de foie gras, 2 glasses of wine, and lots of other fabulous food. Ab-so-lute-ly orgasmic. AB-SO-LUTE-LY. Oh yeah~~~ Oh ~~~ YES~~~~~

Excuse Me

2005-06-20T12:16:00.000+07:00

Imagine this:

Kitty & Princess Willa strut down Hilton's lobby making their way to Sudu, in heels.

Princess Willa: Hey you mortals. Table for 3. Non smoking.
Not-so-cute-Bangladeshi-waiter (in his funny accent): Your highness. Our most sincere apology. But the restaurant is fully booked tonight.
Princess Willa: Do you know WHO I AM?
Not-so-cute-Bangladeshi-waiter nods impatiently. Look at watch.
Princess Willa adjusts her tiara... Long silence...

Princess Willa: I don't care. I am a princess, and I demand to be treated like a queen.
Not-so-cute-Bangladeshi-waiter (in his funny accent): Am really sorry Your Highness. But we are really full today.
Kitty: Would it make a difference if I tell you Maryann Duff is joining us for dinner tonight?

Not-so-cute-Bangladeshi-waiter ran inside. Without a word. Not-so-cute-Bangladeshi-waiter come back with the manager.
Manager wipes sweat and ask: Did you say Maryann Duff? THE Maryann Duff?
Kitty & Princess Willa: Yeah. THE Maryann Duff.
Manager gasps.
Manager: Your table will be ready in 1 minute. We shall clear the area so you will have some privacy. Champagne is complimentary.

The End of An Era

2005-06-20T09:27:00.000+07:00

2 boxes of tissue and 5 martinis later (ok ok, it was just a cup of milo), I have finally officially finished the entire 6 season of SATC. About 2 or 3 years later than everyone else, it nevertheless feels like the end of an era to me ... I felt that I have known Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha so well, for so long ...

Satisfied. Nonetheless.

Wish List

2005-06-18T19:18:00.000+07:00

I figured I should list down the things that I really want for myself at this point of my life, just in case Brad or Santa read this (I wish it's Brad tho') and my wish may just come true...

So here goes ... in no particular order (except for my baby Brad):
1. Brad Pitt who bottoms
2. A good job with high pay
3. Be ripped
4. Sony Ericsson K750i
5. IXUS 700
6. Fabulous bf with nice ass
7. Having (6) and still getting lots of attention from hot guys whom I will have to politely reject
8. Strike lottery or get some windfall fortune
9. Brad Pitt who bottoms (oh yea, I want you to cum twice).

So Brad, if you are reading this... please leave your contact number.

And of course, I wish for world peace... just as you thought I have missed that out.... Hah!

Dreams last so long

2005-06-18T16:16:00.000+07:00

I don't put my wallet in my front pocket anymore.
I will not buy Nokia as my next phone.
I have got 3 versions of "Dream A Lil Dream (of me)".

Breakfast Show

2005-06-17T08:24:00.000+07:00

I have never got the luxury of waking up up 9 am in the morning on a Friday morning, and never had the opportunity to watch our very malaysian made Breakfast Show on the 7th station

There are some memorable quotes:

The-apparently-gay-host: Oh, there is football last night. What time is it anyway? 10? 3 a.m.?
The-not-very-blonde-co-host: I dunno.
The-apparently-gay-host: Anyway, let's see the highlights.
[After highlights of Brasil vs Greece]
The-apparently-gay-host: I think it is so much nicer to just watch the highlights. I just can't bear to sit thru the whole match!
The-not-very-blonde-co-host: Well, I think that is true for most games (but I swear I heard she says "gay").

***

[After reporting an earthquake of 5.3 magnitude in California]
The-not-very-blonde-co-host: Is earthquake caused by global warming?
(yeah, blame global warming on everything!)

NOTE: Name of show and tv station has been omitted to protect the identity of the host below. No host has been harmed in the process of this blog.

Mr and Mr Smith

2005-06-16T17:09:00.000+07:00

I am in love... all over again...

Is It Me?

2005-06-15T18:15:00.000+07:00

There are times when I wonder. I am 27. Been officially out for more than 3 years now. Arguably cute, only slightly chubby and I would like to think that I have a good heart. Intelligent too... well.. almost. What more does it take, to be able to be loved? I have dated ... errr... many people. None of them works out (otherwise I will be happily watching TV or eating dinner with my loved one and not blogging here right?).

K is too naive. F is too campy. D is plain weird. Big B is crazy. C is too needy and bad tempered. Small B is even worse, not to mention looks like shit after a while. A is a moron. M is attached. I is uncertain and manipulative. JW is again uncertain. R just disappeared.

11 dates (as far as I can remember) and endless flings. While it's not me who give up first for most of the "relationships" (if they even qualify to be one), it is somehow traumatising. I am sure deep down they are wonderful people (ok ok, may not all of them). Somehow, as the wise men said, the timing is not right. Yeah... blame it on them, blame it on the timing, blame it on the circumstances, blame it on everything else... but could the problem... really... be ME?

I Am 16 Going On 17

2005-06-15T16:49:00.000+07:00

My shag den... in the making...

Every Saga Has a Beginning

2005-06-15T13:53:00.000+07:00

Ok... this is not original. I heard it from Fill. This is what he heard after the movie "Revenge of the Sith" aka Star Wars Part III.

Ah Lian: Wah... this movie so geng one...
Ah Beng BF: Yeah lor... very nice ler....
Ah Lian: But then hor, like that sure got Part 4 one lor?
Ah Beng BF: Yeah man!

Fill... speechless & ROTF

Men Are Jerks

2005-06-15T13:22:00.000+07:00

Confirmed. Again.